Showing posts with label positivity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label positivity. Show all posts

Sunday, 12 March 2017

No Regrets


I used to live by the motto - never regret. Each choice I've made was one with full consciousness, and I told myself that I would be fully prepared to embrace the consequences that come with the weight of these actions.

Now I'm older though, and the luxury of time and age is something that seems to hang heavily over my shoulders - there are decisions I've looked back and wondered what went through my mind when I did make them.

I do wonder, why only now am I starting to feel these twinges of regret?

Is it age? Is it the maturity that comes with experience?  

They made me who I am today, for sure, but they were difficult and painful decisions that I wish my past self didn't have to make.

I probably have to reach deep inside myself and find the insecurities, to take the time to learn to love myself again. I don't know where along this road where I began to doubt, but as with many things, it is the small subtle changes that sometimes creep up and cause the change in perception. 

Some positive thoughts needed, stat!

Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Overcoming Darkness

This is a scary age. 

You watch people die. 

You see people close to you get sick. 

You see loved ones struggle with problems that seem beyond your comprehension while you wonder how to help them as you stand helplessly on the sidelines. 

You have debts and loans, and the thought of uprooting to start something new seems all the more scary when you don’t know where your next source of income will be. 

You realize the world holds a lot more darkness than you ever knew before. 

And if you’re not careful, if you don’t keep your head straight, the world will stifle you under the multitude of dark, scary things and the darkness will envelope you and swallow you whole. 

So tread gently, and tread carefully, but always remember that light will always overcome darkness. 

Fill yourself with light, and love, and remember to focus on the positives. 

Don’t let the world get you down. 

And do not go gentle into the good night.

Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Let's Change

Originally by Banj Peterson, in response to the Orlando shootings - and he summed up everything I felt about it.

"Orlando has turned into the ultimate Rorschach inkblot; everyone sees in this what they want to see. For some, it’s Islam, for others it’s homophobic rhetoric, lack of gun control, or something else. 

I think the problem is that having so many different angles means people can make this about their issue to the exclusion of all others. A bit like a get out of jail free card, if it’s about the culture of hate fostered by certain conservative politicians then I don’t need to face up to the hostility within Islam and I can ignore the logical disconnect between a radicalized muslim somehow being inspired by a party who’s presidential nominee wants to ban muslims from coming to America. If the cause was that the shooter was a self-loathing gay man, I don’t need to own up to the problem of a lack of gun control and the fact that while there are self-loathing gays everywhere in the world, in only a few places of the world can they walk into a store and buy an assault rifle with no waiting period, but a handgun would have meant waiting three days. 

The problem is that this isn’t an ink blot; it’s a tapestry. A range of factors all contributed to varying degrees to cause an angry, deluded man to attack a bunch of innocent people. 

So I want to talk about culture, because culture is ultimately the sum of these various elements. Culture surrounds us, it penetrates us; it impacts our thinking and our actions. 

In 1996, following the Port Arthur massacre, Liberal Prime Minister John Howard moved to ban all automatic and semi-automatic gun ownership in the country. The way that fact is reported now you’d be forgiven for believing that everyone was on board with this idea at the time, but they weren’t. The resistance was at times ferocious, so much so that when Howard spoke at a pro-gun rally to make his case he could be clearly seen wearing a flak jacket due to a credible threat that he would be attacked. 

But there was something Howard said during that speech that stuck with me. He said that of course simply getting rid of guns won’t stop all shootings, but we needed to change the culture of guns in Australia. A culture that sees guns as a necessary or natural part of itself would always be prone to more gun violence. 

The problem with America’s gun culture partly manifests itself in gun violence in schools. There’s some handy resources online which catalogue shootings in schools over America’s history and it shows that the number of shootings has been growing at a LITERALLY exponential rate. 

There were over 30 incidents in 2014 alone (as compared to about five or six in all of Australia’s history). And the stories typically go that someone was bullied, or suspended, or had an argument with another student and so they went home, got a gun and brought it back to school. And these were just kids doing it. Kids don’t have access to black markets to buy guns. They get them from home. 

But more importantly, why do they do it? All around the world kids are bullied, suspended or fight other kids, but they don’t go and get a gun. 

American kids do it because they see school shootings on the news all the time and this becomes normalized as a result. Think I’m speculating? Go look into the studies on school shootings which have identified large numbers of plots that were carried out or foiled where the kids EXPRESSLY stated that they drew their inspiration from the Columbine massacre and in 14 cases sought to replicate and beat the death toll of that massacre on its anniversary. 

This culture of normalizing guns where they shouldn’t be has come about from the human propensity of monkey-see-monkey-do; a bunch of copycat killing. Which is one of the reasons why I can’t stand the argument that we should have more armed people in all these soft target places. 

When I go to a cinema I should bring my wallet, phone, keys and the deed to my home so I can afford popcorn and drinks. I should never, ever, need to think I should also bring my gun. 

If that becomes normalized then it’s a matter of time before shootings become more common in cinemas, probably because someone was texting. The same principle applies, even more worryingly, for nightclubs. Do you honestly think bringing gun culture into a place where people are drinking will result in fewer incidents? No, the opposite will happen. 

Which brings me to the role of Islamic terrorism. What little we know about the shooter’s motives includes his 911 call declaring support for ISIS and the Boston marathon bombers. Even though there is little evidence he was substantially a member of any terrorist organization or that he had been especially radicalized, the fact remains that he drew inspiration from ISIS atrocities. Just like multiple attackers in Paris have done. Just like the Lindt cafĂ© siege attacker in Sydney and other places around the world. What we have here is another copycat killer and the most worrying aspect is that just like those schoolkids drawing inspiration from Columbine, the shooter only had to see these other atrocities and think, hey, I can do the same. And make no mistake, there will be others. 

But if the shooter hadn’t been especially radicalized at his local mosque or was not a member of any terrorist cell, then the inspiration drawn from terrorist incidents was simply the lit match. We need to consider, what was the mound of fire fuel that it set alight? 

Here’s where the culture of hatred of the gay community comes in, including the shooter’s alleged self-loathing. 

Gays do not hijack planes, send anthrax in the mail, invade countries, bomb abortion clinics or shoot up churches. We don’t have a rape culture (hey, we’re too busy consenting to everyone in the world of free love). We don’t present any threat to anyone. Our greatest crime is that we’re different. 

We form relationships and get our freak on in ways that the majority of the world doesn’t. But unfortunately humanity doesn’t respond well to those who are different. Never has. 

Someone who’s transgender wants to wear a wig and a dress? Hey, it’s not for me (except that one incident with the Spice Girls costume and the mechanical bull, let us never speak of that again) but it also doesn’t affect me, so I don’t need to object. 

But many people don’t get that. 

Christians stand at their pulpits condemning us, while ISIS throws us off tall buildings. Pastors and preachers and tweeters celebrated the attack because people who don’t conform to their view of how all seven billion people on this planet should act were killed. Parents disown their gay children. They help create, foster and nurture an environment of hostility toward those who are different. 

The problem is that I’ve been a part of that problem too. In my early years I used to describe myself as a poofter because I needed to use that self-deprecation as a shield. 

Hey guys, I hate those freaks too. I’m a football-loving, beer-swilling type. Don’t lump me in with those queens. 

Most uncomfortably, to some extent, we’re all guilty of it, through the abominable “no fats, no fems, no Asians” culture. Or how about how many of us use the term “masc” or “straight-acting” in our online app profiles as some badge of pride? We still look down upon this “otherness”. 

If we do it as open members of the community, how can we possibly expect someone apparently torn between his identity and his background to love and accept himself? When all he sees in this community is a bunch of freaks he should hate? So out of all this, you see the cultural problem. 

A culture of hate toward people, a culture that sees others deal with their hatred through violence and a culture that normalizes the means of that violence. 

As John Howard said, the solution is about changing the culture. 

So let’s change it. 

Let’s continue to oppose homophobic voices. Christianity, your religion isn’t under attack. We are. We had 100 people shot, you’re being asked to bake a fucking cake. It’s time to utterly obliterate ISIS and show those who draw inspiration from it that defeat is all that the future holds for you. 

Let’s change the culture that sees guns as a normal part of life. Guns have made America a more dangerous place for all, not safer. That’s a fact that’s been shown again and again and again. 

And let’s change ourselves. 

Let’s stop this hating on each other. Let’s stop bullying, excluding and demonizing. 

Let’s change and let’s start right now."

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Keeping It In Perspective.

I shared a story a little while ago about a patient I met in clinic and his attitude towards pain. 

I think God had a reason for me to meet him because I got sick recently. I had a high fever, vomiting and diarrhoea. For the first time in a long time, I found myself unable to function normally, dragging myself out of bed that morning was a feat of its own. I kept myself hydrated, and remembering the old uncle’s attitude towards pain, I vowed that I wouldn’t let this sickness overcome me. 

I got better the next day, and even aching away as I was, I decided to go out and continue with my day as usual… Only to have someone run into the back of my car, and as both cars stopped at the side of the road and the perpetrator came out and apologized, “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention!” 

… Ah the test of your patience sometimes. 

I’m still optimistic. 

God tests us in a variety of ways and there are many others in the world who are undergoing bigger trials than I am at the moment. I’m thankful that I still have relative health, and that this temporary bug will soon pass and I’ll bounce back to normal. I’m thankful that I have my beautiful family and my dear friends and their overwhelming concern. 

No need to complain about my own first world problems.

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

A Resilience of Spirit

I met an 88 year old patient in clinic who had come in for knee pain, which would worsen when he was doing activity. He was skinny, with really deformed hands, the kind you see with really bad rheumatoid arthritis.  I've seen a lot of older people who suffer from really bad pain in their joints, and this sometimes leaves them unable to go about their daily tasts in life.

As part of my consultation, I enquired about his ability to do daily tasks, especially with the way his fingers were so crooked, but he smiled and waved me off.

It didn't seem to bother him, so I counselled him regarding his knee pain and the likelihood that he most likely had osteoarthritis. I offered him some pain medication, but told him that we had support for physiotherapy and occupational therapy if the pain didn't subside, and that we could always step up the pain medication if normal Paracetamol didn't work. 

He said he would take some for now, but told me that you couldn't 'manjakan' or give in to the pain, or it would gain control over you. He told me that his attitude towards pain was no to coddle it, but accept it and go on with every day life as it is. He didn't mind having a little bit of pain, but it would not be his master.

This man is 88 and still rides around on his motorcycle, does his usual activities of daily living normally and refuses to walk with a cane, just because he believes that the mind is stronger than the physical failings of his body. 

I find myself comparing him to the countless MC seeker that I see for a bit of cough and cold, or the patients who let their pains and aches get the better of them, and I admire the resilience of spirit this one old man has in order in facing his daily challenges.

God bless you old man. 

I'll remember you when I start feeling the aches.