Aida Zabidi

Do you remember me as I remember you?
I wonder if time has changed the way you remember me - if time has softened those edges, and blurred those hazy lines. I wonder if time has faded those bitter thoughts, and left behind only those sepia toned memories of old.
I wonder if you cherish those times the same way I do.
I have learnt harsh lessons with some of you, lessons about me, myself and I - and I have been hurt by some of you, but hurt is easy to come by when your heart is entirely open to another, and I do not regret loving each and every one of you entirely.  
After all, I will always love you in some way.
You were special, and you still are.
Sometimes it is hard to let go, and sometimes I don't want to - so I carry those pieces with me, let them bleed my heart dry until the day comes where the edges have dulled and turned soft, and I no longer carry them with this heart-wrenching guilt, but cushioned with love and happy thoughts instead.
Here's to love, in all its shapes and forms.
Here's an unspoken tribute for the lovers who have coloured my life, for after all, I would not be who I am without all of you. Here's for the happy moments you have brought me, for you were there at times when I needed you and I have been lucky like that. Here's to good thoughts and positivity and love, because it is too easy to remember the angry times, and forget the good.
My cousin challenged her friends to list our exes, and find the positive within the experience, to find a silver lining in the grey, to turn hatred and prejudice into faith, to make good of something that we cannot change.
"My first, at 21. He taught me to let go, to laugh and love. He taught me that sometimes, love is blind. And he taught me that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

A was the second, the boy who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. :) I learnt my weaknesses, and my limits, and regret. Regret is not always a bad thing after all.
K, who picked me up and helped me back on my feet. He was perfect in so many ways, one of those boys who seemed to tick all those mental boxes. He taught me that sometimes what is seemingly perfect may not always be what I need. "
I will always love all of you, in my own little way and can only hope that we will each find the happiness within that we seek and pray that you will forgive me for my transgressions towards you.
May God bless us all on our individual journeys.
6 Responses
  1. Anonymous Says:

    love is always a battle and it goes without saying that we must fight for our love...
    sometimes we have to cut our loses and moved for good as loving someones comes naturally not learned...
    Like you , I have no regrets as my time will come soon that I have had a full life unlike no others.

  2. WRD Says:

    :) Amin yarabbal alamin.

    P.S. I'd pick you up anytime!

  3. just curious, but why didnt things work out with K?

  4. Kitten Says:
    This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. yup, i wonder what's wrong with K? :(

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