Miss Aida
Few things are harder in life than watching your loved one suffer.

Silent suffering of an individual whose fate is wrenched out of his hands, whose life has been turned upside down in the span of an email. His life really has turned upside down and his fate held in the hands of a man. And nothing is worse than having someone else control your fate.

For all our optimism and fighting spirit, the efforts we are continually struggling with, a part of me cannot help but feel as if we are going against insurmountable odds. Against an entity that cannot be seen. Against a corporation. And unfortunately, corporations have no heart, no sympathy, no empathy. Corporations see things in black and white, removed from emotion and the lack of that humanity does not bode well for our case. He could not help being ill right smack in the middle of his exams and the timing of that threw him off everything. I know how difficult it must be for him, how unjust that in this twist of fate his ill health was not taken into consideration.

I know how he feels, I have been in a similar situation before. But times change, and I was lucky. He is not as lucky as I was, so we cannot do anything but appeal and appeal again and pray that someone is reasonable enough to read our plea and agree with the circumstances.

I feel so helpless and angry and frustrated. Angry that they are not more reasonable in the process. Frustrated at the lack of help we are receiving from the very person who should be helping us. And helpless, despite all the optimism I can muster, there are those times in the night when I fall quiet and imagine the repercussions of the suspension. Of last minute efforts, of wishing I knew someone who could make a difference. Of even, unlocking the secret we both hold.

It feels like our time together is in an hourglass, and the sand is trickling much too fast for my liking. I don't know what I'd do if he left.

I cannot cry.
9 Responses

  1. Anonymous Says:

    I know how it feels..and it’s just so frustrating when whatever you’ve done have not brought you any closer to an optimistic end.

    But then again, remember there's Allah and His tests are only for the strong. Perhaps there's hikmah to everything that's happening.

    We're always here for you guys.

    Love, Ajjie.



  2. amal Says:

    hun, i heard about the news. damn. it must be so difficult for you over there. i just wish i could be there to hug ya' for a while..


  3. hey, everyone here knows you both'll pull through, yea?

    Keep that faith intact :) You'll be fine.


  4. I can only guess what the obstacle facing your man is, but I sincerely hope for the worst to be over soon.

    (P/S: On an unrelated note, Aida, I've not been able to find your RSS feed la. Did you disable it?)


  5. Anas Says:

    I'll pray the best for both of u and especially him. InsyaAllah everything will be just fine like it always used to be. Keep on praying coz God will listen to u. Don't worry too much :)


  6. LaiLy Says:

    just by being there for him when the goings get tough helps him more than you'd ever know. be strong for him, hun. and hang in there. i hope this monsoon will go away soon...


  7. Thanks for the support..

    Zhaf: And on an unrelated note, this is going to sound like such a noob, but what's an RSS feed?


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