Oh for Old Times

Do you ever wonder if the best times of your life have passed you by?

I had one of the best years in my life in 2005. At the time, Iyra, Azreen and I were living together in a house, and the two of them, knowing that it was their final year in Melbourne wanted to make the most of what they could. And made the most of their stay they did.

We did so much it makes my head spin when I think of it, especially in those final few days before our departure.

It is true we wanted to make that year special, and we did… And then they left, and I returned. And unsurprisingly, returning, things have been very different without them. It is almost like we poured so much energy into shaping that year to be incredibly fantastic and fun that we can no longer achieve the same heights today.

Or perhaps it is the company.

I can't deny missing them. I was aware from the year before that I would miss their presence acutely, with their larger than life personalities and constant presence. We became incredibly close over the span of those months, and sometimes I wonder if we will ever get the opportunity to experience that again.

Laughing together and gossiping late into the night. Doing things that only girlfriends do. Those hours of getting ready and being girly before going out before an event. How I would wait, sometimes more than a little impatiently while they put the finishing touches on to their outfit. Getting each other psyched up as a particular favourite song came on in the club and how we would rush to the dancefloor.

Azreen's constant lighthearted chatter, and her excitability. Iyra's random jokes at the most unexpected of times. And the girl bonding. It was fun. More than fun. They were like sisters.

We fed off each other's enthusiasm, each other's spirit for life.

I know I'm not the only one that feels it.

Sometimes people come and go from your lives, and make themselves into such an important, integral part of your life that once they go they leave that large, gaping hole that you can't help noticing. It is not that I no longer have any fun, it's just that much more different.

At times I sit and wonder wistfully what they are doing, and how they are coping leaving behind the year we did. And sometimes I cannot help but with they were here with me so I can scream excitedly everytime our song comes on, or make stupid jokes, or just talk. And sometimes I just miss the small things like going shopping at Safeway together. And sometimes I miss them so much I don't know what to do with myself, ind I wonder if anyone should have to lose two of their closest friends at the same time.

I still have many, many experiences in my life, and I hope that many of them will include these two special girls.

Here's to you guys. I miss you.