Friends of Friends

It was a nice surprise when Cristina spent the week here. She had come down from Canberra to spend her semester break with Hugh in Melbourne, and after hearing so much about Hugh's infamous girlfriend, it was nice to finally get acquainted. I wasn't disappointed.

She turned out to be the nicest character ever. Every single thing I've heard about her from Hugh wasn't just the adoration of a loving boyfriend. On contrary, she was sincerely friendly. One of those people who really wanted to make an effort to get to know people. Sometimes, hearing the accounts of an individual's character from a close friend makes you feel as if you know them well. However, it's one thing to hear a verbal account and meet the individual in person.

As we go through our lives, we make new friends. The different paths we take bring us to different people. Individuals who have a past we sometimes have no idea about and friends who we may never meet, but hear about. And sometimes, our separate circles of friends meet, with only two individuals as connections to both circles.

It's always difficult being the middle person meeting friends of friends. Difficult in a way, because you've heard so much about them without actually having the opportunity of meeting them face to face. There's less anonymity, the whole phase of getting-to-know trivial things is totally removed from the equation. It's an awkward phase, because one never knows how much the other person knows about you, and one's never sure which path of conversation to take. Then there's always the possibility of a personality clash, which makes it hard for the friend of the person involved. Not always are we lucky enough to have old friends mesh with new friends, and if both parties clash, it makes it harder for the person in the middle.

It so wasn't like that with Cristina. Hugh is a lucky man. And she, in turn, is lucky to have him. They work incredibly well as a couple, and I find myself hoping that their future together will be bright. It was one of those rare occurences that I find myself getting on incredibly well with one of my closest friend's significant other.

It's surprising how little you know about your friends sometimes. Some things just never have the opportunity to come up in casual conversation, and isn't just the type of everyday topic you talk about. At the Student Club Dinner, I found out a lot more about my friends' lives. Things that I never knew about. Some good, some bad.

I learnt that Cristina was struck by a stroke last year, and had to do rehabilitation for a year. I would have never guessed just looking at her that she had slight paralysis on her right side. She has amazing spirit for someone so young. She overcame the effects of the stroke and continued on with her life.

I learnt that a friend of mine was undergoing depression. She felt worthless, as if no one loved her at all. Her mother died when she was at a young age and she refused to see her father after, and spent the rest of her life flitting between her mother's friends and living off welfare. Independent. She is one of the most beautiful, sweetest and most caring people I've met, yet she's also one of the most insecure when she lets her guard down.

I learnt that another of my friends was a complete jerk when it came to his relationships with women. Fuck them and leave them, for all that it was worth. I have no right to judge, because his decisions are his, and what I learnt came from the accounts of shattered lovers, but my estimation of him dropped a little that night.

I learnt that Hugh stayed with Cristina through the stroke. Supported her. Consoled her when she was insecure about herself. Realised the extent of his obvious affection, and if I might even dare say it, love for her. His patience with her inexhaustible love for shopping. He's stayed faithful to her, despite all that's happened when he moved to Melbourne.

Knowledge doesn't necessarily change friendships. But it can change the way you look at your friends. Change the levels of respect you have for them. It's all part in the intricate web of life, I suppose.