Everyone else is on holiday. Ormond College is incredibly empty at the moment. It's strange, going from 320 people around college, where a large majority are people I have learnt to know and love, to a mere 30-40 people. A smaller community. I'm so frustrated about the fact that I have an extra week of class while everyone else has started their blessed holidays. I want a break.
I definitely made up for the anticipation of everyone leaving by cramming everything into the past 6 nights. Chris asked me to accompany him for the Magoos footie dinner, which was interesting. It's nice to know we have this safety net among us. Good friends make good dates for events where it's necessary to have a date but you don't exactly want to ask someone to. It was slightly strange, because it was black tie. That part itself wasn't that strange, the strange bit was the fact that it was held in the local pub. Black tie in a pub. Hmm. The awards presented to team players were unique, to say the least. Greg's 'Off-Field Achievement' was presented because of how he involved the whole footie team in a brawl. And I've got to admit to biting back a smile when they presented the 'Cunt of the Year' award. Interesting times.
Wednesday night was the Bursary River Cruise, or more affectionately called the Booze Cruise. I loved the 'Heaven or Hell' theme. I love the effort people put into the night, dressing up and getting into the spirit of things. It's one of those things that rarely happens in Malaysia, only because people get incredibly conscious about what others say about them. One of the attractions of having a party on a boat is the sheer contrast of it all.
Inside, the music is loud and pumping, the atmosphere definitely uptempo. There's happily tipsy people having a good time, the devils and the angels mixing it up on the dancefloor, the loud chatter over the music, the happy snaps... Then one step outside and there's the quiet night air, and laidback conversations on the deck, and the peaceful ripples of the river as the boat cruises down. The pictures definitely tell it all.
Thursday night was Ivor's birthday.. He reminds me a little of a thirty year old trapped in an eighteen year old's body. Other than his maturity, his whole demeanor and tastes run more towards more mature individuals. Expensive tastes, this boy. And he reeks of class as well. There's one thing an individual can't duplicate - class. Some people have it and some don't.
I thought I would use Friday to catch up on some sleep, but it turned out that James' asked us over to his place. He's got this awesome house in the suburbs, and we just chilled out on his roof. I kept thinking how awesome it would be to have a party up on the roof. Lots of pizza, some good music, great weather, and there was even a barbecue grill up there!
By the time I got back I was pretty tired, but then I ran into some other people in the Common Room and ended up there for the rest of the night. Apparently they had been playing drinking games earlier. As things usually tend to progress, the topic turned to sex and relationships. And when the question went around about everyone's first experience, I just shrugged it off, telling them I had never even kissed a guy.
It was funny to see their reactions, ranging from shock to disbelief. I suppose therein lay one of the core differences between both of cultures, and religion as a whole. Despite my liberal viewpoints, and staying in a community where vices occasionally become the norm, the fact that I still hold on to my beliefs can seem strange to an outsider. Everybody assumes that everyone goes through the same experiences, and indulges in the same activities. In my case, everyone I know probably assumes that I've go through the whole drunken, hooking up she-bang just because I take part in all the activities and just because of the people I hang out with.
I don't think they could even comprehend never having being kissed before.
Adrian asked "Why not?"
My answer was, "Why?"
Despite my close relationships with my male friends, I've always kept certain boundaries. I've always found it easier to get along with guys. I've also found it equally easy to set certain boundaries, which my male Caucasian and Australian friends keep to. I don't quite see the appeal of hooking up with some drunken guy at a smoko, or anywhere else, despite how easy it is. It's a strong part of my religion and culture to guard my modesty. Granted, there are certain guys whose physical attraction plays on temptation. Nevertheless, lust is reined in by rationality. Physicality between a man and woman seems much too intimate to simply go through without proper thought and ultimate trust, even if it wasn't for religion, and both factors aren't earned lightly.
Strangely enough, once I admitted my lack of experience, every guy in the room was immediately interested in being my so-called 'first', to my amusement. It just reinforced my beliefs in the truth behind the rules of religion. Physical intimacy is such a precious thing, and Islam prohibiting physical intimacy between sexes until matrimony just celebrates how incredibly special that bond is between a man and a woman. Sharing a first with your partner just strengthens the bonds between both individuals, and emphasizes the trust issues in the relationship.
In today's day and age, and seeing the attitudes of a totally different culture, there seems to be so little value attached to physical interactions. It's so easy to get drunk, and pick up, and something so casual between the kisses shared between two people. It's not my place to judge the way other people go about satisfying their physical needs. That's up to them.
I may be old fashioned but I believe in sharing experiences with someone I truly love.
I may be controlling but as far as first experiences go, mine will be on my terms.
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