"My husband wants me to quit work to care for him, but what can we do Doctor? This economy doesn't quite allow it."
She smiles, stroking her child's head. He has severe cerebral palsy;
wheelchair bound with poor head and trunk balance. His spine is already
curved to the side, and he barely responds to things around him. He
lifts his head every now and then, then drops his chin to his chest
again, like the effort of holding it up was too much.
"I want to move closer, so I can be
close to him in case of emergencies, but I've been waiting for a
transfer opportunity for years. I've written a letter to the head of the
company, and the hospital has written me a supporting letter but I
don't know if the secretary has passed it on."
She's been working for the same company for 13 years, even before her
son was born. She speaks cheerfully, matter of factly, as she calls out
to her son.
"He can lift his head now, doctor. One, two, three.. up!"
True enough, the child lifts his head for a few seconds and she pats him on his thigh supportively.
"The other day my boss asked me why I took so many leave days. You know, other workers take leave to enjoy themselves and go on holidays, but my leave days are all taken up to bring him to hospital. It's not like she doesn't know his condition!"
There's a hint of reproach in her voice, and yet, no blame. He has appointments every other month in two different hospitals, and she brings him to therapy twice a month in between the other appointments.
"How do you lift him? Do you get back pain?"
Her son is as tall as her, and already weighs more at the age of 13. I gently bring up the topic to discuss what we would need to plan for in the future.
"I can still lift him by myself but it's getting harder. I can't expect my mother in law to put him on his wheelchair in the mornings so we try to do it before we leave for work. Sometimes if I lift wrongly I do get some pain, but it's not often."
I admire her strength of heart, her unwavering stead. I can only help her plan alternatives, and support her in the choices that she chooses. He is her son, she will do what she can for him.
They are both blessed, mother and child; she who has found the strength inside her to grow into someone beyond herself, and him to have a mother who cares for him so.
May we all have such strength.
"He can lift his head now, doctor. One, two, three.. up!"
True enough, the child lifts his head for a few seconds and she pats him on his thigh supportively.
"The other day my boss asked me why I took so many leave days. You know, other workers take leave to enjoy themselves and go on holidays, but my leave days are all taken up to bring him to hospital. It's not like she doesn't know his condition!"
There's a hint of reproach in her voice, and yet, no blame. He has appointments every other month in two different hospitals, and she brings him to therapy twice a month in between the other appointments.
"How do you lift him? Do you get back pain?"
Her son is as tall as her, and already weighs more at the age of 13. I gently bring up the topic to discuss what we would need to plan for in the future.
"I can still lift him by myself but it's getting harder. I can't expect my mother in law to put him on his wheelchair in the mornings so we try to do it before we leave for work. Sometimes if I lift wrongly I do get some pain, but it's not often."
I admire her strength of heart, her unwavering stead. I can only help her plan alternatives, and support her in the choices that she chooses. He is her son, she will do what she can for him.
They are both blessed, mother and child; she who has found the strength inside her to grow into someone beyond herself, and him to have a mother who cares for him so.
May we all have such strength.
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