Aida Zabidi
"It feels comfortable, doesn't it?"

"Too comfortable," she smiled, turning over in the bed to face the man she once loved with all her heart, and it was not the comfort of the bed that she was referring to.

The silence between them was comfortable, the smiles between them gentle.

It was almost strange that the two of them should be lying here again, side by side like this, and it felt even stranger that despite the events that had happened in the past years that they would be able to face each other once again and talk about things that were deeply personal, that they were able to finally discuss those deepest, darkest feelings that they had both gone through in the past few years.

It felt strange that despite all the time that had past, despite all the hurt that had happened, they were here once more, in the same bed that their child had been conceived.

She blinked back the memory, the hot sting of tears surprising her. It had been years since it had all happened and she thought she was all cried out at the memory of that.

It was the room, the place, the memories. but it seemed all so much more poignant now; memories flooding back of when they first realised she was pregnant, and the whirlwind journey that they had gone through. She remembered the frenzied excitement that the two of them had been caught up in, in their young love, and how they had sketched their dreams and futures together, of them and their unborn child. She remembered the devastating loss of the child, the night when she had bled in this very bed, and how she had felt her life motivation bleeding with the loss of the life she carried within.

The memories blurred with her vision, and she had to blink her tears away.

Things had changed so much between them, and despite their best efforts, they had fractured and grown apart, silent strangers wrapped in their own grief; she weeping for the loss of their child, and him not knowing how to reach out to her.

She had walked away.

And now she was back, after those years, and they were once again lying in the same bed, not as lovers would, but as the friends that they were trying to be. 

And she realised how patient he had been, and how foolish she had been to walk away, realised for the first time how badly he had been affected as well. It was only now, after all this time, the careful mask of control he had always worn had slipped, and she could see the vulnerability and love that were written so openly over his face, and she knew exactly what he wanted.

They say time heals all wounds, and lying beside him, in the sun-dappled rays of early morning, she felt the faint stirrings of emotion within her heart, a heart she had once thought long dead with the death of her child.

"You can never get too comfortable," his smile was gentle, hopeful, as he continued to gaze at her steadily. "In the very least, it's something that I'll always wish for you."

It felt like a promise. 

Thump. Thump.

And there it was.

Her heartbeat, responding to him as she bridged the distance between them and let him envelope her in his warmth. 

Her heart, slowly coming back to life, as her lover's mask of control cracked and his tears ran down his face, as he looked at the women he thought he'd once lost forever.

And they lay, the two of them, starting anew with the thumping of her heart, drumming the sound of a promise and a beginning, in the silence of the room in those early hours of the morning, in perfect silence. Just the two of them, in each other's company.

Comfortable. Just like that.

6 Responses
  1. Lynx Says:

    OMG! I love this piece! I can actually imagine it --- it's like a movie in my head ^_^ great work, continue writing!

  2. Al Says:

    this piece feels so deep and personal its almost uncomfortableto read,but that dark sense of hope at the end,its like our everyday reality,so deliciously ambiguous.

  3. khUthU Says:

    literature celebrates ambiguous :) there's room for a lot of people.

    comfort feels like an achievement. the special ones - as if the world is put to a halt, and u didnt care.

  4. Anonymous Says:

    Aida, u can start writing a book u know. Ppl are hooked by ur writing :p

  5. Thanks guys. :)

    It's a fine line between fiction and reality when it comes to writing.

  6. Nazneen Says:

    This is amazing piece!
    Aida, you should be a writer. I really enjoy reading your blog :)

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