Hakisan

Relationships are strange and tricky things - as if anything that involves letting someone else into your life - and your heart.

I am scarred from the past, in a way that has made me doubt my ability to maintain a relationship. I've thought many times that I'm probably best off at being single, but I suppose that hasn't always happened the way I plan.

He says I always wanted things my way, that I couldn't see his point of view - and he's probably right.

It is difficult letting someone into my life who is entirely at odds with my entire way of thinking. We are so diffeent that sometimes the smallest things turn into sticking points, and we clash over things that I would have never considered to be significant in the past.

I have never considered myself to be unreasonable but perhaps our clash just serve to highlight the unbending nature of my personality.

It is the Ram versus the Ram.

Perhaps my past relationships were happy and unconflicted because I have always had the luck to be with those who have either thought the same way I do, or have given way to my needs and wants.

I do not know. I cannot tell.

This is the first time I have experienced the tumultuous side of relationships, the turbulence of passion, the first time I have experienced such huge ranges of emotion within the short span of time we have tried.

This is the first time that I find myself giving in, and it seems to be something that my ego struggles with, and I wonder if it is because I a naturally unyielding or if I feel that I am compromising my ideals.

I am forced to reevaluate myself, and what I want - and the journey has been one that has opened my eyes to a lot of things.

This is a journey of many firsts - some good, some bad, and I am constantly reminded that some journeys are meant to be journeyed alone, and some paths are best walked with another.

I suppose you are meant to be my guide.