Wednesday 23 May 2007

Bitching Against Bureaucracy

Be thankful they say.

Your scholarship, your luck at being sent overseas. A chance for a new life, for qualifications, for a new experience. Petronas is a wonderful company and they will take care of you. Be thankful. Be content.

Thankful, I am, for this opportunity. Thankful I got to leave and experience somewhere else. But content?

Should I sit down and be content with what they give me? A scholarship has no strings attached but academic excellence. This is not a scholarship. It is payment for my future time, for the next ten years of my life. Tied down, without the freedom to leave somewhere else.

Should I sit down and be content with what they give me? An allowance below the official poverty line? My student life dictated by where to live and where to go, just because they pay for accommodation? On top of that, pandering to their whims, despite their lack of judgement and research?

It is my life.

Do I settle for what is mediocre?

I will fight with every fibre of my being, I will fight against all who tell me otherwise, I will fight for equality. Equality for distribution of wealth, for an equal chance for a full allowance, similar to what other scholars have access to.

Can I not fight for equality? It is not a scholarship, no matter how many times they like to tell us that, it is a loan. And on top of that, their officers do not seem to take the time to even check on the welfare of students, and have the nerve to harp on us to be ‘oh so thankful’ for this opportunity they give us.

I cannot be thankful when an inept officer decides a new standard without proper research. I cannot be silent when friends of mine live in accommodation which leak, or which are so small that they are forced to have prayers in their kitchen. I cannot be still when our complaints are unheard of, complaints for a standard of living that is comparable to the national average.

No more. No less.

My mother was a crusader for what she believed in, and is my sister. And perhaps this is my crusade, for equal student rights.

Despite the red tape and the lack of support and despite the probability of having my name smeared, I cannot be silent.

Not when they tell us to be thankful, for the restlessness they have subjected us to, for the worry and stress, and for the inefficiency of a system with an idiot in charge.

Be thankful my ass.

45 comments:

  1. WhO i Am To SaY - i Am NoT eVeN qUaLiFiEd FoR sCHoLaRsHiP oR sTuDy LoAn. LiFe Is A bLeSsiNg .BuT tHeN , aS hUMaN wE aRe NeVer SaTiSfIeD.

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  2. fight for equality right?..how bout the NEP...?..*sorry out of topic*

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  3. Part of the reason why you're there is also because you worked hard for it, therefore you have every right to fight for what you deserve.

    Sometimes, you just wonder, what makes them like that. It's the mentality that's insane to put up with.

    Hope things will look better eventually with this complications.

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  4. Well, I don't think human nature should ever be entirely satisfied.

    Not when there are things to strive for, like equality or peace.

    In this particular situation, it's long and complicated, and the classic example of why people waste money when they could save just because the managers of a company don't do their jobs. It's a lose-lose situation.

    But like I said. Long and complicated.

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  5. you know, i read this thing about equality once from one of those many weird books i got hold of that states people who strive for equality are fools. it is written that when you really look at it properly, there isn't such thing as equality.that, surprisingly, if there IS such a thing, when we learn to be thankful for what we've given and have, THAT'S equality at its purest form.

    But I don't agree. heh.

    i don't really get the whole scholarship deal, much bcos i didn't try for one, but i trust you know what you're doing so yeah, thats all it takes.

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  6. and how much per month are we talking here?

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  7. Well, we just want what JPA and MARA scholars are getting. $1200 a month.

    Despite Australian recommendations for international students who say Melbourne students should have $1700 on average, but $1200 is still an improvement on what we're getting now.

    Partly it's not so much the money as the freedom not to have our every move monitored by our sponsors.

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  8. To Renegix_01: The NEP is all ABOUT equality, at least it strives to get us to that level of equality. Don't give us bullshit about wanting to "play fair" on a level playing field when we're not even close to having one yet.

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  9. i believe you were not forced to accept the scholarship.there are many options and many other sponsors.
    its true that we as humans will never be satisfied with what we have. but at least we could try to be one. try to appreciate the things we have while we still can. try to value the blessings that others are dying for. perhaps it's a blessing in disguise.
    we don't know what the future may hold. but we do know that for every bit of sacrifice, there will be a reward.and we should be thankful.be thankful for the opportunity.
    some people just have to learn the hard way. but if we stop moping and start dealing with the reality that life offers, perhaps we can look at life from a brighter side.
    i agree that sometimes sponsors can be unfair.but this is the path that we have chosen. if we were to live in a world of complaints, satisfaction will never come comes our way

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  10. No OfFeNcE bUt..

    WiThOuT tHe ScHoLaRsHiP , woULd YoU sTiLl bE aBlE tO sTuDy AbrOad GiVeN a ChOiCe...IsN'T iT a PrIvIlIgEd CoMPaReD tO mE wHEre My PaREnTs HaVe To SuPpoRt My VeRy ExPeNsEs In LoNdOn.

    HaVe YoU hEArD tHe SaYiNg ThAt ThErE's Is No SuCh ThIng As FrEe LuNcH?-gO fIgUrE? yOu ArE thErE tO sTuDy So WhAt'S tHe BiG dEaL uNLeSs....

    StUdeNtS hAvE eNdLeSs NeEds ANd WanTs CoMpArED To WoRkIng AdUlTs-TrUSt Me As I hAvE bEen ThErE bEfoRe. DoN't YoU tHiNk YoU sHoUld EaRn It By WoRkInG pArT tImE lIke OtHeRs DiD?

    PlEaSE fOrGiVe Me FoR mY uNwArRAnTeD cOMmeNt bUt I tHiNk It Is NoT nOt WorTH bItChIng AbOuT uNLeSs ...

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  11. I disagree with the anonymous poster, on the part where we chose Petronas by ourselves. I can only say, LOL. The thing is, we Petronas scholars don't know that we're getting this deal when we signed up for it. Conveniently, it was never mentioned.

    What's wrong with fighting for more when we, in the future, have to pay back for it? I don't get the logic when people say be content because you got to be in Australia etc. If we don't have to pay back, like certain scholarships then it's ok-lah. Otherwise when we have to repay it then we have a reason to fight for it, not just roll over and pretend to be dead.

    And, the Qur'an said, "Allah does not change the fate of a race unless they started to change it themselves." Enuff said.

    Just my two cents.

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  12. Good on you, Aida. You are right when you say that although Petronas calls it a "scholarship", it is no more than a loan disguised as a scholarship. Yes, the only condition attached to a scholarship is academic excellence. You have worked hard to achieve that. Yet Petronas stipulates that upon completion of your studies you must be bonded to their company and they will dictate where you will work, etc.

    I do believe it is unfair for them therefore to expect you to live below your means. When they decided to send their "scholars" abroad, they should indeed have researched the cost of living in that country. Australia is one of the most expensive places to live in, particularly in the major cities (Melbourne & Sydney). Just because they are paying tuition doesn't mean they can disregard living expenses and leave students, so far from home, stranded monetarily.

    You can get a great education, but you can't eat your textbooks (unless absolutely desperate). No matter how meticulous your lecture notes are they won't pay your rent or bills. So yes, thankful for the opportunity... but at the same time, refuse to be a doormat.

    It's a bit shameful that Petronas is so skint that they have four people living in each other's pockets a 2-bedroom apartment. And for what?

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  13. To akubudaksetan: I am working part-time, and it is only enough to get me through. Working part-time on a medical degree is not easy, and it is not something I should have to do, but I am lucky enough to be able to do it momentarily.

    However, there are many students under my scholarship who do not have this opportunity. We are not here studying easy courses, and it is not always easy to get a job.

    Officially, we are not allowed to work! So tell me, isn't it a catch-22? At the end of the day, the money we are asking for is just enough to cover rent and food, and that's all we want.

    Enough money to not worry about where your next meal is coming from.

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  14. Hey...i just came accross ur blog while i was blog hopping..

    well, it is sad that u have to fend for urself..but welcome to the reality.. im a malaysian studyin in melbourne as well..and life is not easy for most of us..regardless of who takes care of the finances..

    im glad that u want to fight for equal rights..i would think that is the best way to go..however, im not sure if u realised (unless u do but ur just more comfortable living in denial) that by u accepting the scholarship, u actually did subscribe to inequality..i dont want to be racist but i know of many non-malays who have better results but are still deprived of an opportunity.. so in other words, ur actually contradicting urself..unless u just came to a point of realization once uve had a taste of how it feels to be treated inadequately..well, guess what.. there aint any equality in that country...someone mentioned about NEP..haha..what a joke..of coz its directed towards achieving equality just for ONE kind...OF COURSE it is equal..because they calculate the equity holdings of ur ppl based on face value..haha..

    and to say ur allowance is below the official poverty line is pushing it abit too far..

    u see ur an investment..they need to earn return out of u.. nobody is goin to pay for ur tuition fee just hoping that u would achieve academic excellence..u must be living in a delusion if u actually accepted the scholarship with this mindset..even if it wasnt part of your agreement..well i understand why u may be delusional as things may have always come by ur way rather easily... im not sayin u didnt work hard for where u r and for ur medical degree...of coz u have, im certain of that fact..but just to let others know..there are many malaysians out there who would have worked just as hard or even harder..

    i usually just flings these things over my head..but i just felt that i should make it a point that if ur fighting for equality..that ur sure it is equal in every sense..

    but heck, there arent any selfless deeds/acts..

    so continue feeling dissatisfied and all the best..

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  15. equality for distribution of wealth? haha! girl, u're talking abt scholarships here and not abt the the state of affairs in africa. below the poverty line and the state of welfare? u're joking right? try using ur words in the right context pls.

    i'm a student in melb as well but a singaporean at it. unlike m'sians, we are not offered any scholarships. have u ever met a singaporean with a scholarship? i sure have not and i bet we wld LOVE to have some bureaucracy paying for our fees and accommodation? maybe ada segelintir that have scholarships, but as i said segelintir. ok i have nothing againt m'sians, my housemate is one. also i have nothing against students with scholarships. but i sure have sth against ppl who take for granted rezeki yang datang dari Dia. u seek help from a corporate institution, of course there'd be strings attached. what do u expect? this is a capitalistic society. anyway, u chose this path so just stick with it.

    i guess u have the right to be dissatisfied cos it is after all part and parcel of being a human and it is ur life u're talking abt here. its perfectly fine to be dissatisfied cos it will bring abt more improvement and progression in any given situation. but jus try thinking of others who are at a worse situation than u're in now. ok if u cant think too far all the way in africa, think abt some of the financially struggling students whose parents are lugging and busting their asses off everyday so that their kids can get the same education that u're getting. memang betul apa orang2 tua cakap pasal budak2 zaman sekarang. susah sikit pun tak boleh and never grateful for what we have. i for one, do not know the meaning of kesusahan eventhough i think i've gone through lots of financial bumps.

    and be honest... are u seriously financially struggling even with ur "measly" allowance and paid work? maybe u are if u're living beyond ur means. but if i was in ur situation i think i'd be loaded with savings, what with fees and accommodation paid for and food provided. bersyukur kepada Dia yang memberi kita rezeki.

    Salaam,
    Mas

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  16. reading this latest article you've written sums up all you're a spoilt-brat.

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  17. i feel you. because i freaking hate uitm's system. i penah masuk uitm's court sebab TAK MAKAN. yes. back then when i lived in the hostel, we were forced to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the dining hall everyday WITHOUT FAIL. unfortunately my class was jauh and i skipped lunch everyday because i had no transport to lari balik hostel. feeling tak sedap hati, i informed this to the admin but they were too malas to put it in record. in the court, they called me "ungrateful spoiled rich kid" and "KAWAN SYAITAN SEBAB MEMBAZIR DUIT KERAJAAN." they said i should be grateful because i would be NOTHING if uitm didn't accept me in. they even denda me SERATUS RINGGIT. let me tell you something; the lunch was not that great or even expensive. the nasi was usually served with lauk of sotong busuk, lemak daging, and smelly fish. they fed us like street cats and i was supposed to be grateful?

    f**ker.

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  18. I find it interesting that there's such an undercurrent of anger here in a lot of the comments. Perhaps even more than I expected.

    To anonymous No. 2, yes, we are living under the poverty line. All scholars are. In Melbourne, international students are recommended to put aside AUD1800 a month for living expenses (and this is an average estimate). The official Henderson poverty line is AUD1380.08 monthly, and we are definitely living below that. Also, there are scholarships that pay for your tuition fees and don't expect anything but academic excellence. However, not every company is as straightforward as to advertise that, and not every student is as forward thinking enough as to realise the implications when the get an offer that sounds too good to be true.

    I would consider myself lucky to have this "scholarship", but before you judge me or my peers, it's not easy living in a situation where you're made to feel like you are under the control of your scholarship body, not just financially but in a lot of subtle ways.

    We do not have a say in where we stay, or the condition of the place, but we have to argue with our student advisor (who does not always make the effort to check on the welfare of the students) to make sure that all of us get housing that is suitable. We do not know when we will be moved, or where we will stay next, there is no stability, and no student wants to be shifted from place to place.

    We are not allowed the freedom of speech (but of course).

    I can't stand it when people use religion to say people should be content. To "bersyukur". Definitely, the Ottoman Empire did not get where it was by sitting on it's ass.

    Don't get me wrong. I am thankful. But at the same time, I see nothing wrong for fighting for the welfare of myself and my peers, considering they are taking the most valuable thing from us - the freedom of choice for ten years of our life.

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  19. well then, i pity all u scholars then. *hugs* hope u guys get out of this poverty state in one piece, hopefully with no physical, psychological or emotional scarring.

    me, i'm living the life with my less than $AUD600p/m allowance tt i have to distribute between rent, food, daily expenses, transport and miscellaneous. oh yah... not to mention my $AUD7000-8000 of fees per semester. to claim that i'm living below the poverty line is just not logical because to me, the idea and meaning of poverty is clearly different to yours. so lets just agree to disagree.

    but all in all, i betul2 bersyukur for the good things and the hardships tt come along with this experience. oops sorry for the religious connotation, it wont happen again.

    Peace,
    Mas

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  20. the malay people will always be a bunch of ingrates. always wanting more and more, but never have anything to show for it.

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  21. This discussion is getting astray,i tell you.

    I think what others don't realize is that the sponsor is spending approximately $1700 per student per month and by God, that's more than enough for food, accommodation and welfare.

    But here's where the problem comes in.

    In reality we're receiving less, much less than half of $1700 - because the money went through agents who make bunch of profits from money that WE would be paying back after graduation.

    May i stress - its a loan, not a scholarship. Of course we have the right to fight for it. Why should we pay back thousands of dollars what we don't event get in the first place?

    And when i refer to 'we', i refer to us. The Malays, Indians, Chinese under the same loan.

    I don't believe this topic has anything to do with racism. Its just so happen that when we talk about scholarshipS and loans, the Malays are attacked.

    And truthfully, i blame no one for that.

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  22. On a much simpler note,

    Why should we be paying back $1200 per month per person for accommodation, when in reality the accommodation we're living in under the agents are worth $300 per month per person?

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  23. YAY! go miss aida!
    the thing with these companies, they always take advantage of "fresh grads" whom they think dunno any better. But there are much better companies out there. Someone like you should be with an international company. Screw petronas.

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  24. all these haters.
    too bad whatever they say won't change the fact that we're here for free and lovin it!

    hell yeah!

    your daddys taxpayer money is my booze dough , baby!

    jealous? deal with it losers..

    hahahahahahahahah

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  26. The didnt take away our freedom for TEN years....
    we choose it...whe choose when we signed..we know by hook or by crook, we are BONDED with them. it is our CHOICE. you cant say when we signed we do not know bout this.....it is in the term, that we are bonded....and still you signed.. i wonder why...

    there is a saying, don expect too much from others, but give the them the best.....

    Everything is not perfect, we should adapt it and be flexible, that is how we can survice in this world. You are LUCKY...very lucky indeed....big house, n still get scholarship...maybe the meaning of big house is different from you. cos you can never be satisfied. some people don have a house, they only can afford to rent it due to certain circumstances.

    I love my dad and my mom....i'll my everything to help them. Signing with PETRONAS is the best way to help them. it can reduce their burden. without PETRONAS, i dunno where i am. i may never a get a job, just like some malaysian who are jobless. there are a lot. BUt me, i have a job, cus of PETRONAS. with good salary. eventhough its not much but its enough. When im overseas, i think i have enough allowances from them. i think more than enough cus i still can go for a holiday, pay for my air ticket and hang out with my frens.

    i LOVE PETRONAS...and i dont think working for them meaning i lose my freedom...NO! if you think it will take away your freedom, just pay them, n you can go away. but don just run away without paying...

    as you say its a loan, if you don want to work for them, pay them, every penny that they spend on you. as easy as that.

    then you know how much they really spend for you there...and hope you realise, if it werent for them you cant afford to be there....(or maybe your parents can)



    talking bout muslim in malaysia that does not follow the islam way. ARE YOU?????
    you go out n club..free hair???is that muslim enough????
    i have no idea....

    but i know you are trying your best, to be yourself, n to remind others..its good....though.

    well, sorry if my comments hurt your feeling...
    be flexible, if not you cant survive your working life.....

    thank you....

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  27. The ottoman Empire did not get to where it was by sitting on its ass.

    True, it did not. It strove for excellence. What you strive for are extras. Extras that allow you to shop more, go out more, or club more or whatever it is that you do. I am sure that they did not send you overseas for you to throw away their money for your entertainment.
    I have heard that your sponsors have already provided many things, accomodation, dinner and monthly allowance on top of that. Sounds to me you have sufficient to survive, I do not see what the ruckus is all about. To expect them to accomodate the extras to help you buy what? Extra movie tickets? Magazines? More clothes? That I think is unfair. I have also heard that other people get through fine without facing financial difficulties. How do they do it?
    And to talk about being bonded for 10 years, maybe you should have thought of that before you signed the dotted line. Signing it means that you understand what you will be obligated to.
    Sure young people want to have fun travel, get trashed etc, why don't you do it on your own means?
    Maybe it's just some group of people who are living beyond their means and spending on things which are not necessities. I do not see how an increase in allowance allows you to excel in what you do asides from allowing you to buy more prescribed textbooks ( I doubt it).

    I still think that you have all the facilities to help you survive wherever it is you are studying.

    If you want to be like the Ottoman Empire, stop whining, think long term instead.
    In any case, it's just my opinion.

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  29. Dear Saiful,

    We're not asking for extras. We're asking for our sponsors to give us access to the allocation that they already provide for each student, but is currently being squandered on meaningless things when students can make better use of that allocation.

    To the anonymous Petronas scholar, if you really wish to know the issue we're fighting for, I welcome you to take a look at the Allowance Proposal we are looking to present to ESU soon - or you can come disagree with me one on one.

    My name is Khaidatul Nisa Mohamed Zabidi and I am the current secretary of Petrovic, representing the Petronas students of Victoria.

    Sekian, terima kasih.

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  30. its gud that you want to make some changes....but...dun bitching around about something, about a company that spend a lot of money on you....think bout others that don have what you have..

    just don bitching around.its not gud..PETRONAS has gave so much to malaysia....its ashamed to everyone (pet scholars, malay and malaysians) to bitching around bout this...

    You can proposed to improve but it looks a lot nicer if you do it profesionally.

    BE PROFESIONAL.....

    Love,
    Anonymous Petronas scholar

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  31. anyway, my english is not so gud..
    i guess im not as smart as you..a secretary of petrovic...
    im just an ordinary gurl who is lucky enough to have a company to support me.

    Me again, hehehe
    anonymous Petronas scholar

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  34. Dear Miss Aida,

    Im sorry if i misjudged you.
    Well, its your blog..
    you can write anything you want...
    im a visitor...i should respect your opinion.

    I am just the same like you...i'm dissapointed with your writting and i guess thats why i wrote those comments...but i never really know you..so i cant judge you...and i cant delete my comments.heheh...so i cant turn back time..well, nothing can. we can never take our words back.

    Im sorry again...n wish you well with the proposal....

    Anonymous Pet scholar

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  35. to all pet ppl..ure all waste of money.i dnt really mind..coz u guys will end up being a slave of my legacy.im chilling mate....

    makan sudah bagi..tempat tido pun sudah ada..berak pun free..lagi apa lu orang mau?? stripper??
    kereta?? oi mat beli sendiri la.lu punya bapak tgk lu hidup pun sudah kira baik..lu besok tgk TV3 streaming online..lu tengok itu pemain bola..sepuluh kali untung lu punya bapak..

    mastura -perth

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  36. all these people with their quick judgements without really knowing who she is and what she's really working for. Aida's not 'crusading' for more money, not at all, she's merely fighting for an efficient system, if any one of you judgmental anons have read the proposal,you'd have realized that not only is it fighting for student welfare, it's targeting to save the organization their money too.

    i have seen how she has been very professional throughout the whole ordeal.this is merely a space for her to let off some steam.
    give her some room, and don't be so quick to judge her as some ungrateful spoilt brat.

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  37. uuh din - i bet your mama does that too..i like u man.more than your mama.

    -mastura

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  38. To Amir n aida...

    Judgemental?? mmmm these people are not judgemental. I bet most of them are petronas scholars and some of them had actually faced or still facing the same problem as ur friend, here.

    Living under the poverty line?? that is so rubbish. Yeah international students are expected to have $1800 for cost of living. But arent u guys get the accomodation as well as food? They provide u everything! You may not happy with what they have provided, but, hey we're on scholarship!! they have the power to decide which way you go, which food u eat, which path you take! What they do is beyond our control.

    Don't tell me, you didnt expect this to happen! Grown up people, this is what the reality is!!

    I admit, i dont agree to some the actions taken by Petronas. But, u just have to live with it.sleep over it. When you voice out your opinions, you may get what u wanted or you may get soemthing that you never ever wanted or wish!!

    You chose the path few years back and no turning back....so drop it! just accept the fact that u'll be their slave in few years time!

    Sit back and think, if you are really a HDs' students or those excel in studies, i would recommend and support you in whatever you do to go against Petronas. Sometimes you have to think, that whatever happens is in the God's will. if you dont follow HIS rules, dont expect HIM to give what ever u want!

    Be more realistic people!

    Hamba Allah

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  39. Dear Hamba Allah.

    I like how you used 'slave', I expected, by the way you write, that someone like you would say that we are slave to none but Allah, but that's beyond the point.

    if you have seen or read the proposal, i'm sure that you would see that we're not asking for more OR GOING AGAINST PETRONAS (wtf?), but rather a more, efficient, so to say, way of allocating the funds they are providing to the scholars. NOT MORE MONEY.
    i think from what the club has researched, the organization (in this case petronas) is spending quite a hefty sum per student, and what the club proposing, is just a more, eifficient so to say, method of doing things. the club has identified areas that they think can be improved on, saving the larger organization a lot of money.
    they have identified,for instance that a lot of money can be saved by providing accomodation through agents, rather than sending students to rip-off-charge-you-till-you bleed 'student' accomodations just to make everyone's life easier.
    you could call it a more systematic and thoroughly researched approach towards things.
    i'm sure that people in the past have gone through worse,but why not try and make a difference and make life easier for everyone else?do you really want to see your friends living in expensive boxes?paying bills through their noses and picking through their piggie-boxes just to do their laundry?
    i could go on and keep telling you that they (the club)are trying to come up with a proper system bla bla bla,but why bother?you'll only be back to tell me that i'm an ingrate, a slave and i gave my life away a long time ago and i should be happy, so i won't.

    but before i finish,i'd just like to say that you should really know what they're really fighting for before you start pointing your guns and start labelling people.at least someone has the guts to try and make a difference.

    being realistic.

    amir

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  40. hahahahah

    kinda sad lar.

    From what I understand, Aida is trying to give the scholars better control of the money allocated to them. There is much wastage where money meant for them is squandered on middlemen.

    Even if she is fighting for a raise in funding, what is your problem? Its between her and Petronas. If you're happy with what you're getting, then fine. There is nothing wrong with wanting more and working to get it.

    If you dislike or disagree with the effort she is making for all the Petronas scholars benefit, and happen to be a Petronas scholar, let her know so that any changes made will not apply to you.

    Our lives are our own. There is no need for us to bend to the wills of others, even multinational corporations like Petronas.

    It pains me that Anonymity is somehow correlated with ignorance, stupidity and poor English. I hope I break that trend.

    Makan Tuhan

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  41. ni maknanyer tak bersyukur. Fucking stupid. Kalau tanak terikat takyah la sign contract. bengong.

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  42. Salam Aida,

    I am just would like to share my experience duirng my study in London. I managed to survive with the poverty allowance, and send some money to parents on regularly without a need to do part time. Basically, I hardly eat outside as I got my fren (who working as STEWARD)to supply me monthly packed food from Malaysia. Maybe I was lucky.

    How was the proposal to PET? Did they accepted it?

    Salam

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  43. Greetings, successful blogging for you,,,,,,,

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