Is This Love?

The course of love is rarely smooth. It twists and winds and at times may seem like the most difficult experience one will undergo.

There are those moments that plunge you in the pits of despair. Those painful moments where the green eyed monster rears its head and plunges it's poison into your veins, and the poison withers that love.

The tears I could not hold back, and they flowed freely down my face. The painful hurt, and I wondered if that insecurity would hold us back. If it would be there in the future, constantly, like some hideous ghost of the past, haunting me at the most unexpected of moments.

I held him and whispered, "I love you for who you are. For all of you. You don't have to be a national squash player, or have bulging muscles, or compare yourself to others. There are others in my past, but they are merely the past, and you are my future. I believe we were brought together for a reason."

I had been never more certain of the words I spoke. Knowing that no one else had ever made me feel the same way he does.

Is this love? Those moments where doubt and insecurity creep into a relationship, and both parties strive to overcome them? Knowing that by loving, you open yourself up so much, that you are so incredibly vulnerable, that you are all the more likely to be hurt?

Here is my heart. Take care of it, for it is precious.

Yet, for the most part, there are those beautiful moments. Dazzling moments captured forever in your memories, crystal clear despite the passing of time.

We laughed with each other in the peace of twilight, as playful as two young children, and yet in our childish amusement, the undercurrent of seriousness pervaded. As our discussion lead to more serious matters, happiness blossomed in my heart of hearts, knowing he felt the way I did.

"Are we really doing this?" I question softly, My head reels from the implication, but I feel no fear, despite the decisions we make, knowing that it will change my life in ways I have never experienced before.

He holds me close and I feel his heartbeat echo mine, two souls intertwined by the decision we had made, and I prayed for strength and hope for the challenges we would encounter, for I knew I was prepared to stand by him for as long as he needed me, and that realization by itself was a powerful one.

Is this love? The liquid strength that flows through your veins? The overwhelming happiness and mutual trust between two? Knowing that by loving, you may never be able to turn back into who you were before?

Here is my trust. Take care of it, for it is precious.

I love, and everytime I do, it changes me. And I learn from each experience, for it is true what Shakespeare said, "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all," for despite each tear, and each heartache, I would not trade those moments in my memories for anything.

Here is my love. Take care of it, for it is precious.