As an overseas student, I'm always thankful that I have two out of my three best friends studying near me. Nikster's been here with me ever since my first year and Pudtz has arrived about a month back. It's almost surreal having her here after talking about it for so long, and despite the hour long train she has to take to Melbourne, at least we're no longer separated by an eight hour plane journey.
She came down this weekend, with another friend, and both of them originally planned on going to the Anime Festival at Melbourne University. One thing about friends and memories, I suppose, is that you never quite expect them to change. Never expect the difference in dynamics when another party is added to the existing situation. All you retain in your mind is that crystal clear memory of how your friend once was and how the friendship and interaction between the two of you were. And with those pre-existing notions, you expect things to be exactly the way they were.
Your best friend. The one with the same ideas. And the same expectations.
I guess the involvement of someone new always changes the dynamics of a group. Nat's friend was someone I wasn't familiar with from back home, although I had heard of her before. I had met her once before, and our first meeting was nothing unusual, the awkward but well-meaning getting to know phase of two individuals whose only link was that of a common friend.
This week, however, I found myself in a situation where I never thought I'd have to re-live. Learning to share. It was like me being back in Standard One, where I refused to let my best friend Adlina call someone else her best friend. It was a young, territorial me and I once thought that the person I was had long left. I never expected that violently jealous streak to resurface, and having to control my more selfish urges to ask Nat to leave her friend and come hang out with us, and only us. It was a situation I didn't expect to go through.
Where I had expected her to sleep over my place, she rented an apartment with her friend.
Where I expected us to have similar plans, I had to take a new person into consideration.
Where I had expected Nik, Nat and I to hang out together, with easy conversation and our shared bond, we occasionally had to take a fourth person into consideration.
I am not normally opposed to making friends, in fact I feel as if I make an effort to help someone new feel included. Neither am I entirely blaming the behaviour of the friend. Perhaps it was hard to fit in with the three of us, due to our long history. However, hanging back while we were walking in a group despite my efforts to make occasional conversation, did make me feel a little rebuffed. Perhaps she was tired. And perhaps we just had a clash of personalities. Perhaps her idea of making an effort did not measure up to my idea of making an effort.
There are too many perhaps to contemplate. All I know that I felt frustration at the occasional clashes we had throughout the weekend, mainly because I felt like the details of the plans we argued over were trivial, in the least. Both Nik and I were frustrated, perhaps because we felt like more effort could have been made from her side. It's always hard when a new person steps into a group who have gone back for ages. I understand that much.
Despite all that, I enjoyed spending time with Nat. The night before I brought them to a college music soiree, where Ormond won two out of the three categories contested for. I have to admit being impressed with the quality of the Ormond music groups. I still have the song 'I Still Whispered Your Name' stuck in my head. Heh.
We spent all Saturday hanging out, and because of the awful weather, we ended up watching the O.C, which I am now hooked on. We went to the Crown Casino later that night as well, just to watch the infamous fireballs. We ended up taking all these silly photos.. We're such posers! It was really funny because we tried to do freeze-frame catfight scenes. As in doing frame-by-frame shots of actions. I can't stop laughing looking at the photos. It's so much fun when you're messing around with friends. It's always a nice walk back because of the riverside. Also made it to the Queen Victoria Markets, and as usual, I ended up buying a little too much than I expected to. I have got to control my impulse shopping!
Sigh. I suppose I can't judge a person's character by the incidences and issues of one weekend. Perhaps things will improve. In any case, it was great seeing my best friend again. And Nik and I hung out together out of college for the first time in ages. So I'm thankful for life's small blessings.
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