Sunday 16 May 2004

Some Things Shouldn't Be Casual

What might have turned into a day of self-brooding when my movie plans were cancelled turned out into a great day out with some girlfriends. When Danusha told me she was planning on taking a walk, I invited her to come check out Max Brenner with me. Yes, I had a chocolate craving. :P So sue me. Ran into Pei on our way back and invited her to come with us as well.

It was the first time I had hung out with those two for ages and it was so much fun! It was one of those girly gossipy sessions among people who felt comfortable with each other. I swear, college gossip is really fun. We talked about our relationships (or in my case, lack of) with the opposite sex, discussed the pitfalls and matters of the heart over warm, steaming chocolate. We talked about Danusha going back to Canada... I'm going to miss that girl. She's a bit like the Energizer bunny on Speed. In a good way. Always full of energy, always has a smile for everyone, always bouncing up to say hi. And I've gotta admit I've got a bit of a soft spot for Canadian accents. Pei's this massive rock-climbing fan, and she was telling us about all these places she had gone rock climbing at. I am so jealous. And so impressed. Some people are just so adventurous! Impressed impressed impressed.

We had barbecue for dinner... again. I think the college cooks must be getting too lazy to cook for us. Ran into Fabian and ended up at Nandos having dinner. It's so good hanging out with the guys - sometimes I just get so busy with everything that I barely even have time to talk to them. And when I do, it's so much fun. We were exchanging college gossip when Fabian got a bit quiet.

We were talking about hook-ups and the general drunkenness that happens. And although I can talk about it so casually, I cannot understand the extent of how casually people consent to intimacy sometimes.

I have friends who have walked up to people they've just met and wanted to hook up that night. I have met people who have had sexual relations with another person within hours of meeting them. I know people who are cheating on their partners. I have heard stories about various sexual activities, or so commonly referred to as 'getting-it-on' which have been backed up with proof. And that scares me. The casualness of their actions, of readily submitting to their pureply physical needs. I cannot bring myself to think it is right. But who am I to say what I think? It's an entire new culture here. I could understand why Fabian might have been so quiet.

It is one thing to be condescending about another's actions when you barely know them. It's another thing entirely when the discussion centres around people you actually know. People you smile at in the corridors and talk to during lunch or dinner. People you might even refer to as a friend. I am used to talking about it, used to the situation. But that does not change the way I feel about it. I'm very much uncomfortable about it. It's chilling.

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I played drinking games that night, with Pei, John, Shawn, Ivor, Josh, Eddie, Kirsty and Chris (who joined us later). Now why would a person who's never touched alcohol in her life and doesn't plan to join a group of friends to play drinking games?

One wonders. I was bored. Another issue: I almost feel obligated to be there in order to keep an eye on my dear, drunken friends. As lovely as they are, alcohol has a habit of clouding one's judgement. In addition, I was actually worried that some of them might need help being assisted back to their rooms. And I was right. Call it that maternal instinct surfacing in me... but by now I know who can and cannot hold their alcohol. And I was prepared later on to coax everyone back to my room, feed them and get some other fluids in them. All in the life of a non-drinking college kid.

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