The Peter Pan Inside

There’s a child in me that doesn’t want to be left behind. 

It’s the same child that made me rush into idealistic relationships and then balked at the idea of marriage because it seemed too grown up. It’s the same child that throws out a thousand ‘whys’ every time I contemplate having children because she wonders if I am capable of raising a child. 

The child inside wants life to stay exactly as it is despite the years passing by. She is constantly asking why things have to change, why I have to grow up.

I struggle with my inner child. 

She reflects my insecurities and my fear of leaving my comfort zone. She wants to always play and tell me that life will be alright every time the adult me starts thinking about career paths. She tries to persuade me to leave my life behind and travel the world, without fear of consequence. 

Nevertheless, I do love my inner child. 

She truly is my youth, my heart. I hope that we can reconcile. 

Dear child, growing up does not mean I will leave you – you will always be part of me. Despite the responsibilities and a different life that I have chosen, you will always be there in your wilfulness and innocence, in your freedom and flight. Despite the physical changes, you will always be there in my soul and my smile.

I hope you will choose to walk my path with me.