Wednesday 18 February 2015

Fighting Anger

Anger is a draining emotion. 

Friends of mine call me patient, but only my oldest friends recall the emotional, angsty teenager I was, and the struggle to overcome the constant emotional turmoil. 

I remember the powerful pull of fury, of the instinct to want to hit, to want to hurt; to say words that would make others feel the same way I felt. I remember the struggle to not give in to those baser emotions, and to try and hold my tongue so I didn’t hurt others the same way I was hurt. I remember the feeling that I wasn’t able to connect and express what I was feeling, and how withdrawn from the world I felt. I struggled with anger management issues, and it would have been too easy to have given in and hurt someone else in the process.

Perhaps some part of it was instinctual; the same passionate nature runs through my mother’s side -of the family – quick to laugh, but quick to anger as well. It was easier to say exactly what you had on your mind, and be damned with the emotions of others. I know how it made me feel though, and I know I disagreed with the occasional unconscious retort that a family member would make; and I consciously made the choice not to be that way. 
 
People forget how strong teenage hormones are, and in my work, I occasionally see the odd teenager who is struggling with themselves, and I try to offer what little insight I can to help with their condition. Thinking back, I had to make a huge paradigm shift to step out of that mind set where I felt misunderstood, and I was lucky that I had a good support system around me. 

It took time but I eventually worked towards it. 

I was lucky, and not everyone has that sort of luck. 

I’m certain I’m not the only one who had struggled with similar issues, and I hope that we all never forget that internal fight with ourselves and our base natures, and are able to understand the similar struggles that others go through today. 

“Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle.”

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