Coming to a certain age, it seems inevitable that the majority of my friends are starting a journey of childbearing – it seems that a majority have had their first child, while a significant number have had their second or third by now.
Research shows significant amount of women are delaying childbearing for favour of their lifestyles and the careers – a trend that seems reflected worldwide, and one that seems to hold true as well within the friends I have.
I do not envy my friends with children at all.
It is no secret that having a child changes your life entirely – and that your once precious time is soon too precious, shared with young ones that are entirely dependent on you and your partner, and as I see the harassed, tired faces of friends with children, I have nothing but deep admiration for the patience and the zen-like state that they must be in.
Call me selfish, but my time is still precious to me. I admit to being selfish - that I like being able to curl up with a book without the cry of a child over my shoulder, or to be able to have impromptu dinners and catch-up with friends - not having to worry about the appropriateness of restaurants, or the idea that I am able to just get up and go on a holiday the very next week, should I want to.
Even taking care of my young nephew, who is two, is taxing – for a single individual who is unused to the trials of child-rearing, I admit I am somewhat lost when his diapers start to smell. Or when he gets cranky and tired, and starts crying irrationally because I’m not used to his naptimes and he is much too young to tell me that he’s tired. Or trying to keep up with that unbridled enthusiasm and energy that seems to go on, and on, and on.
I do admit my heart does melt every time he turns that smile on me. Or the fact that he really does say the darndest things.
That said, young parents these days seems to be a different breed these days.
In my mother’s time, she maintains how rarely she would take us out of the house unless it was to see family – it seemed like a large part of our early childhood my mother gave up her social life so she could spend that time on us. We seemed to be a priority and her strict rules probably made us who we are today.
It seems like these days, more parents are able to maintain a lifestyle with their friends and family – many of my friends bring out their children for outings with friends, or are able to maintain a similar social lifestyle – something which I dare say is only possible with certain well-mannered children, or with the help of a supportive spouse and family.
At this point, parenthood still feels daunting.
To the repeated question I get asked – do you want children?
Well, yes I do – but I’m not exactly rushing to pop out a baby or two. When the time is right.
When the time comes, I suppose it will be similar to a lot of first time parents – a leap off the deep end with no idea of the stretch ahead to come, swimming and just trying to stay afloat through the process. I’m sure it will be a rollercoaster of ups and downs, of frustrations and rewarding moments, and it is a journey I look forward to when the time comes.
Until then, I’m quite enjoying singledom.
No comments:
Post a Comment