Underbelly

I would get a tattoo just to feel the pain. To remind myself of the pain I went through. 

Sometimes it feels like I'm living a conventional life when the rebel in me is dying to break out. If I didn't have to think twice I would have a lot more piercings, dye my hair a million different colours, dress in leather and lace.

Is it normal to prefer the shadows? To sit on the fringes of normal society and be freed from the restrictions imposed on us?

Or perhaps it is just a mechanism to run away from the every day problems that we face. 

I often wonder if these urges represent a part of me that craves escapism, despite the contentment for my every day life - there is always that other part that craves darker desires a little too strongly for my comfort at times. 

Who knows what lies beneath?