The Cogs

“Do you think we’ll ever leave?”

They stared at the ceiling for awhile. Tuned out to the bustle outside in those few moments that they managed to steal away from their daily routines.

“There have been people who left before. They become disillusioned with the life, or tempted by the call of other things, or decide that it isn’t something that they are able to sustain. I don’t know about us though. It might be a bit too early to tell.” 

“I guess we're but absolute babies in this career. Did you ever wonder..” 

“Wonder?” 

“How we got here?” 

“It’s a daze almost. I remember vaguely a life before this one, where things seemed very different. I was happy where I was, heading towards a future that I can barely remember now. It’s easy to get caught up in the everyday routine. The days seem to go by so fast that I can barely catch a breath.” 

She smiled, knowing exactly how it felt. “Do you have any regrets?” 

He let out a surprised bark of laughter, thrown off by the question. “What is this, an interview?"

"Let's call it my attempt at philosophy. Humour me."

He thought about it for a moment. "Hard to say. I don’t regret it, everything is where it’s meant to be in its own way. The hours are long, and a lot of it seems like an uphill challenge but it’s good, you know? You feel like there’s meaning in what you do. How many people can claim that?” 

“I’m sure everyone finds the different meaning to their daily lives – but I do understand. A friend once told me I had no room in my heart for anything else, because so much of it was consumed by work. For awhile I feared that was true.” 

“And now?”

“I still wonder. I think it’s easy to become absorbed. To lose track and to lose faith. To become an automaton, a comfortable cog in the wheel. To not realize there’s life outside this hospital, with friends and family who have been waiting patiently by the sidelines. “ 

“Not everyone waits forever?” 

“Would you wait?” Straightforward as usual.

He sighed and stared at the ceiling.

“I don’t know. I really don’t.”