Impulse

I couldn’t sleep last night on my night shift, consumed as I was with the thought of you. 

The words you’d said over and over again – telling me to try, to wait for you as you’d waited for me. I’d never been good at trying very hard, a lot of my relationships seemed to have fallen into some sort of pattern where routine eventually became a predominant thing, and eventually I just stopped trying. 

I thought of an idea, an idea so crazy by my standards that my heart couldn’t stop thumping if I were to ever pull this off. I wondered if I were crazy to even think of such a thing, but I could only hope that this crazy scheme would work. 

It reminded me of a time when I was impulsive, a time when I was willing to jump on a train and make my way to another county to be with him, and not understand my actions. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like that.