The Wall

It feels like there’s a wall.

A wall without a door, one that stops me from being able to cross over. 

A wall that seems to keep all the secrets in, the truths that would never be told until the truth is distilled, sanitized into itty bitty palatable pieces, pieces that no longer have those jagged edges. I do not know if this is w good or bad thing. 

Somehow I feel like the narrative is changing, as people change - and I’m not entirely sure if I’m ready for it. 

Uncertainty has always killed me.

I don’t know if I can scale that wall.

But one can always dream.

Travelling on the Vaccinated Travel Lane: Malaysia to Singapore

I recently travelled to Singapore on the VTL and compiled this list; which is hopefully useful for anyone planning to do the same!

 

Make sure you’re traveling on a #VTL flight (only six per day, one per airline). I got the information regarding the VTL flights here. This was one VTL flight per carrier per day, but this might change to in the future, so please double check.

 

Download the TraceTogether app (you have to upload vaccination certificate etc). Activate app only after Singapore immigration. You'll need your Bluetooth on for this to be working.

 

Checklist at KL Airport

 

We downloaded all our documents into our phone ‘Notes’ app and just scrolled down on the iPad, which made it easier to show to staff. There's one staff member who will check your documents before allowing you to line up.

 

1. Vaccination status (download MySejahtera)
2. Negative predeparture Covid result (done within 48 hours of flight) 
3. VTP (vaccinated travel pass) - apply at https://eservices.ica.gov.sg/STO1/VTL 
4. Singapore Health Declaration (SG Arrival Card) - pre-fill prior to leaving at https://eservices.ica.gov.sg/sgarrivalcard/ or through the app
5. Booking for PCR on arrival at Singapore (https://safetravel.changiairport.com/arrivalswabtest/#/)
6. Travel insurance with Covid-19 coverage (I used AXA)

On Arrival

 

1. Prepare your order QR code on your phone to show the staff after baggage collection. Take PCR on arrival and head to residence by private car. Wait for negative PCR on arrival result (through email or TraceTogether app). I got mine in 7 hours, but my husband got his in 5 hours (he's Singaporean). I've heard reports of pepole getting theirs in 5 hours up to 12 hours.
   
2. Acknowledge email from Immigration and Checkpoint Authority from your email.
3. Get self ART tests from pharmacies (enough tests for Day 2, 4, 5 and 6 depending on length of stay) - can be ordered from Grab. Report self test prior to going out every day.
4. Book Day 3 and Day 7 ART test from email link (only after receiving negative PCR on arrival result) at https://go.gov.sg/traveller-art-test - approx SGD15

 

Checklist at Singapore Changi Airport (Going Back to Malaysia)

1. Passport
2. PCR pre-departure negative PCR (notarized)
3. MySejahtera app
4. Covid-19 insurance (if not local)
5. Covid-19 arrival test purchase (https://airport.doctor2u.my/order)
6. Test formally at any healthcare centre on Day 3 and Day 5, home self testing and reporting on Day 2, 4, 6 and 7 on TraceTogether app.

 

This information was valid at this time of departure, but may change from time to time; so please make sure that you check before going through this process. Hope this was helpful!

There Is No Left

The concept of her left side is alien to her, a concept that her brain cannot process.

 

“Is this my hand?” She asked her son. “Who’s hand is this?”

 

The stroke has left her with a condition called neglect, where all the information around her is processed save for the stimuli from her left side, and it has left her with a much more restricted view of the world.

 

“Look this way,” I coax. “Can you hear me? Keep turning, keep looking.”

 

“Can you see that yellow bag? I want you to focus on it.”

 

“Sit over there. Try to always talk to your mum on her left,” I tell her son.

 

It’s small things, the constant drawing of attention to things to her left; an often tedious process to help her draw stimulation from a space that barely exists in her head.

 

I wonder if she will start to regain that sense, if she will regain that lost left. I hope she does, and that her world will slowly expand for her again. I hope she manages to fill in those missing bits that her brain does not process.

 

I hope she finds her left.

That Covid Panic

There’s always that moment in these times of the Covid pandemic as a health worker.

 

That dreaded moment when you’re told you might have been exposed to the virus, and you have to go into isolation.

 

You might not be on the frontlines. You might have tried to limit your contact to as few people as you can. You might have been compliant to social distancing measures.

 

But that’s the risk we take.

 

How does it feel?

 

A momentary panic, as you flash back in the past few weeks to all the people you’ve been exposed to - to your colleagues, your patients. To your family; your parents, your siblings, to children. You weigh up your risk of going home - asymptomatic, the length of time you were exposed, and you wonder - is the possible exposure to your loved ones a risk you want to take?

 

The stress of isolation, and the dreaded wait as you wait for your results, because no matter how much you rationalize the risk of being negative, there is always that possibility that lingers at the back of your mind - that what if.

 

That rush of relief as our results come back negative, or the horror when we get a positive result; causing entire departments to shut down. 

 

Some of us in our centre have had those scares, those moments of anxiety and stress until we get the all clear.

 

As this prolongs, more of us will join this circle of uncertainty, as we are quarantined for the safety of our team and the patients we treat.

 

It is not pleasant, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

 

Help us help you.

 

#StayAtHome

The Wordless Man

He cannot speak but he looks at her with hope in his eyes. 

She smiles at him and points out the simple objects as they pass, asking him to repeat them the way you would ask a child, and he obediently does. He seems to understand, but part of his brain is damaged, unable to comprehend the more complex instructions, and he knows. 

He struggles to find the words he wants to express, frustration crossing his face when he cannot find the words he wants to say. 

His wife and his son are light-hearted around him, and I can see a determination on his wife's face as she goes through the exercises - she wants her husband back, but she knows that he will never be the same. 

But there are moments when their eyes meet and they smile, and perhaps some things transcend the damaged brain, and somehow they manage to connect in a way that only they can.

As the Memory Fades

She's 86. He's in his 80s as well, and he's brought her in for her checkup. 

She's started to forget, but her husband assures me he takes care of her medications, and that he makes sure she eats the pills every day. 

He's driven her here, as he usually does for her doctor's appointments, and I ask if he's still okay to drive, and he assures me he's not had any accidents, although he does complain that people always seem to be rushing and emergency braking these days. 

She's got hearing difficulties and smiles at me when I ask her questions, but responds as her husband loudly translates my questions to mandarin. She's due for a hearing aid, her husband tells me, but they're still waiting. 

This is their relationship, well into their golden years. 

He is her caregiver, the one she will rely on as her memory will slowly fade. 

He is accepting of the fact, but his eyes darken as I gently bring up the possibility that she might forget, forget him and their loved ones on one day. 

We should all be so lucky to be loved like that.

A Work Appreciation Post

We've had a few emergency cases the past week that have had to be attended by our colleagues who weren't the treating team, or the oncall team - who attended the cases didn't really matter, but two things really stood out to me. 

First that it really didn't matter who attended the patient; there was no hierarchy - there was no issue around who should have attended the patient in the first place, whose patient it was or which team the patient belonged to. It was all hands on deck, all hands ready to help.

Second was the fact that after every incident, thanks were given to the attending staff in our own medical officer group - while it may sound like something very trivial, it's nice to be working in an environment which is healthy and cooperative, and I personally feel that the small action is reflective of the appreciation that we generally have of each other. 

The people you work with make all the difference, and I'm glad to be working with my current colleagues - you guys know who you are.